What's the deal with marriage counselling?

As people change, so must a relationship. Without that common growth, the initial feeling of closeness, enjoyment and friendship cannot last.

Marriage counseling, or couples therapy, is not just for those who have experienced infidelity or betrayal. It's not just for those who constantly fight and name-call. It isn't even just for those who find themselves at the end of their tether. Marriage counselling lends an impartial ear, helps to establish meaningful communication, and provides the tools for tackling life challenges.

As Amy Bloom states:

“Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle”.

Professional marriage counselling can help you reshuffle your hand, rebuild or rekindle your relationship, and avoid breakdown. Given the right skills and tools, each of you in the marriage is able to represent yourself within the relationship and resolve your problems.

Marriage counselling can help you deal with it.

Divorce rates are high, but who cares - I'm not a statistic, right? Following the petition of every divorce paper, law requires a time of separation, and for good reason. A cooling period wherein both of you can reflect and try couples therapy is only a positive.

Nobody said marriage was easy. And sometimes, as hard as you may try, an issue cannot be reconciled just between the two of you. This is where a counsellor can help resolve differences and better the chance of development. Similar to a doctor or dentist, a marriage counsellor is a professional who will work through the problem with you and your partner, administer the best tools for resolution, and offer support.

Chatting to an outsider can work wonders and, on so many occasions, has saved money, time, emotional trauma and, of course, marriages.

What's the big deal with communication?

A marriage counsellor is a professional; a specialist in dealing with relationships and the associated complexities. The number one issue marriage counsellors' site is a lack of communication between partners. To re-establish the meaningful communication that once existed between you and your partner is essential in moving forward. In some cases, that's all it takes; for the two of you to share what's on your mind.

Other times, professional marriage counselling can provide an environment to work through tough conversations and painful issues, such as an unfaithful spouse. Communication is the winning card.

Counselling is not the deal-breaker. You are.

Counselling is not a quick-fix solution to your every problem. The two of you must be prepared to make your relationship work, not already having surrendered, or willing to give up with one bad card.

While professional marriage counselling doesn't claim to be the solution to every marriage conflict, it can act as a critical guide to the development of a resilient, healthy and fulfilling relationship that lasts.